The Motorcycling Declaration of Independence
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for a people to dissolve the mechanical & spiritual bands which have connected them to the earth by four or more wheels, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station of a single track vehicle, to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all vehicles are created equal, that they are endowed by their design with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments institute laws and regulations among operators, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. Those thus governed have a responsibility to obey those laws to the best of their ability while retaining the right to oppose, lobby for and against, and lawfully veto said laws.
The history of the present and profligate mode of transportation is one of repeated injuries and usurpation of the rivers of motor transport for the benefit of 2 track vehicles, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over said avenues of commerce and movement. We have been harangued, harassed, bullied, scolded and belittled enough. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
Roads and Highways are build without consideration of other modes of transport.
Open, covered, and garage parking refuse to provide appropriate, dedicated parking.
Laws, motor codes and legislation that ignore single track vehicles.
Laws, motor codes and legislation brought by those with no experience or interest–nay, by those with open contempt for all but their own needs and a striking disability to desire to understand others.
Laws, motor codes and legislation brought solely for punitive harassment and criminal penalty focused only on single track vehicles to the absolution of other transport carriers.
Unabashed contempt for any personal transport other than automobiles and reckless disregard of the special abilities or needs of other systems.
Willful oversight of the shortcomings of the two track vehicle, including but not limited to:
The muting of the sounds and pleasures of the natural world.
The inability to judge speed due to isolation from the operating environment.
Disconnection from other users and willful neglect of operational responsibilities due to phones, food and cosmetics application.
Lack of awareness of their own size or situation due to poor licensing and oversight.
Willful ignorance of other users due to “Kar Karaoke” and “Riding & Rapping” or “Drumming on the Dash”.
Deflecting responsibility through claiming false victimization and dehumanization of single track users through labeling such as, “All bikers are..criminals”, “Organ Donors”, “Stupid”, “Stunters”, “1%ers” or other statements. These terms are often used insults often hurled to assuage the guilty party’s own conscience.
In fact and action our two tracked brothers have worked through design or neglect to lessen, marginalize and demonize Motorcyclists.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our two track brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our evolution and tradition here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred which should breed brotherhood instead of an unbridgeable gap of connections and correspondence.
We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
To wit, we of the single track declare with certainty and resolve:
To ride with courtesy and care, respecting other users rights but retaining our right of self preservation by any & all means necessary.
To ride within the constraints of law and motor codes as often as possible but retain (as all other motor users) our right to flex, stretch and bend said laws while (as all other motor users) taking physical, financial, legal and moral responsibility for our actions. We pledge to own our behaviors while admitting that there is a time and a place for everything.
To ride with awareness of others, to give way with courtesy, to be polite and forgiving, to stop and aid all in case of emergency according to our skills and abilities, and to ride with prudence and care. We pledge to be good citizens on the roadway both paved and unpaved.
Though disparate in style, technique, use, culture and goals we assert that ALL motorcyclists are part of one unique and distinct group and should act in accordance with the greater good, striving as tribes to create a unified motorcycle nation. Any bike is still a bike and anyone who rides is a brother or sister.
We do not surrender our right to our Humanity. We strive to avoid base sins but recognize they can be part of the human condition, these foibles including but not limited to:
Cursing, spitting, and becoming angry when our rights are infringed by others although physical violence is only acceptable in self defense. Better to vent than dent.
Having FUN. This includes exhibiting joyful exuberance by encouraging our motorcycles to join in full-throat song, using all the lane available to us, riding briskly but responsibly, and (every once in a while) taking our hands off the bars and trying to hold the air as it passes through our fingers.
Personal Responsibility. Be it upon providence’s own creation to decide what and when to wear it. Should we choose to ride wind in hair or stitched up like an Imperial Stormtrooper we retain the right of self-determination as to our personal selections in body coverings. (Tattoos included).
We retain the right of assembly and association. We can meet with whomever we want wherever we want, to ride with companions of our own choice and be safe from harassment from within or without on the matter of our choice of associates.
We, therefore, as Motorcyclists of the United States of America, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of all Motorcyclists, solemnly publish and declare, to be Free and Independent Riders; that we are Absolved from all Allegiances to bike brand or style, purpose or politics, crowd or culture and totally overlook all differences and see only the common connection between us to be; that as Free and Independent Riders we have full power to ride, peaceable in intent and act, with combativeness when needed, to contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which Independent Riders may do.
We are more than what we wear, ride or the activities we choose. Our differences do not divide us they define our absolute union. All bikes are accepted and any bike is better than no bike.
And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor. God Bless the Bike and the Rider.
By Signature Accepting and Intent to Honor,
Brent “Capt Crash” Allen
***Apologies to Tommy J–but you din’t copyright the thing man!