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So, there I was riding along, minding my own business when this dude decides to tailgate me for 2, 3 miles to the freeway.  As he makes his over the white line nutball pass to merge across the bow of the car I was sliding in front of I think, what a jerk and suddenly as he goes by it turns out my left hand is thinking and communicating the same thing.


This gentleman takes offense.  Slows to about 35 and plants himself on the dotted line blocking both right hand lanes.  I slow and backpedal.  He is clearly conflicted on what to do.  I’m not going to pass him and he’s not willing to go slower.  Think about it.  He’s a tailgater.  He’s probably tailgating and banzaiing lane because he’s late and in a hurry.  (Perhaps to church?)  We travel down the road a couple of miles before he settles into the right lane going 45.  I’m hanging back a good 100 yards.  He starts to pull off on an uphill exit and I make a serious mistake–I don’t realize he’s getting off so he can get back on behind me.  I should have pulled over at the bottom of the ramp and waited to see what he was going to do and then decided on my course of action.


By the time I’m on the other side of the overpass I realize what’s going on and start to really hustle to get to the next exit which is the only one for 4 miles.  I watch the mirrors as this guy tries to muscle around another car coming down the ramp but is blocked.  It’s very interesting to watch but I need distance.  I get on the ponies.  Coming up I bail out on the next off ramp because I have to safe harbors I can get to fairly quickly:  the State Police Barracks and the local Harley-Davidson dealership.  I figure either provide me some kind of back up.  As I’m going up the off ramp I can see the light is green and the two left turn lanes are empty and the right hand turn lane is clear as well.  Dude is catching up fast and the light is very, very, stale.  Taking a page from my 18 year old truck driving days.  I slide to the left, and start banging away on my horn as the light goes yellow and stays yellow a very long time.  The time for watching the light is over and still banging on the horn I scratch a hard left across the front of three lanes of traffic. 


Looking in my mirrors I see a flash of white as this muttonhead shoots straight across through the intersection and back down the ramp to rejoin the freeway.  I don’t see the entire car just doors and door handles, I believe he was trying to hit me.  I placed him in a position where to truly get me he would have to wreck himself and self-preservation took over.  Barely.  I haven’t been involved with a road rage incident in a long, long time and I’m still surprised by how technical the entire event was.  I wasn’t scared-my heart was beating faster-but I was thinking and when I made the first really big tactical error (letting him get behind me) I recognized it immediately.  Thinking about it now I realize that flipping this fool off wasn’t the first mistake–not pulling over and letting he around me before I got to the freeway was. 

If you’re in the Boise Idaho area and see a POS mid 00s white Chevy Malibu filling up your mirrors–find an excuse to make that right turn and let him go by.

About Brent Crash Allen

I Forgot, now you forget

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